I genuinely want to understand how the human brain feels when friendship gives off the sweet feeling of care and encouragement. I know that right now, it's a time for me to submerge myself in God's word and productive relationships completely. I have never felt so connected to a group of people that I can google hangout with for three hours and just chat about life and Jesus. Honesty has also been a big step that has taken my relationships to the next level. I can't expect for everyone to understand what's going on if I close off and have people perceive that I'm just peachy. It's a big step that, overtime, becomes easier and helpful. I was just talking to an old friend and he brought up the time when we were kids in nursery looking at the teachers thinking that they were old, and now look at us, were the adults that kids are looking at thinking that were old. Life doesn't seem to fly by, but when you reminisce your childhood, life seems so pure and beautiful. I see it as a joy to live, I value my friendships that have empowered me to be myself and grow, I'm even thankful for the sucky ones that taught me how to be aware of my actions and how they may effect others. I still dream of what life will be in the future, who will be there and what it'll look like to look back at this moment. Learning to cherish people helps spread God's love in a great way. Don't confirm people's worst fears, instead speak into existence of what they could be, "you're great, talented, loving, kind and important." A word of encouragement could impact someone's life forever. As you're reading this, at school, work or maybe you're just lounging at home, I want you to know that you are worth it, you're loved, kind, important and so worth your dreams. Whatever is in your heart, chase after it and don't let anyone tell you other wise. Have God as your guide and he will never lead you astray. I know what it feels like to have someone confirm the worst and it feels horrible to think that you'll never get there. I dedicate this to you, I pray that you feel empowered to go out today and empower someone else with the love and encouragement of Christ. Give someone a compliment and tell them that they matter. As I write this, I am already sensing the confidence rise in your heart and I pray that you'll understand that God is always with you and never against you. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jeremiah 1:5 NIV Bible). What a prophet's job is to speak out God's will and purpose before anyone sees or perceives it. Like a seed that grows into an oak tree, it has a small humble beginning, but everyone underestimates where it started, our jobs as christians is to speak life and see past what others may not see. Choose to see the magnificent growth and progress that takes place in your life. Know that God has set you apart for a purpose, knowing our mess ups and imperfections he still appointed you. As life goes on, don't see the negative, choose to appreciate the breath you have circulating through your lungs and for the good people you have around you, it all is a wonderful miracle in itself. What was hard to get past was the feeling of not being good enough, not just the same old feeling that someone is cooler or doesn't appreciate you, but the pressure that life has to look like a someone else's highlighted real. Like an instagrammer has a theme or an aesthetic, I was stressed out because my life didn't look like their's. I had a revelation, it consisted of me feeling no shame to unfollow them, yeah, that's right. I said it. Unfollow! Imagine your whole life is a feed of pictures of people you hang with and like to admire, if you find yourself feeling as if they are the standard, than sweety you need to check yourself before you literally wreck yourself. God never intended for you to feel unworthy, he desires relationships that are true, honest and pure. You need people that tell you that you are good enough instead of trying to convince you that you're not. People and habits that suck the joy out of your daily life need to be dropped like a hot potato. I know that God has helped me with confidence in this season, letting go of unrealistic dreams that aren't apart of God's plan gave me more freedom. A God dream isn't a Kardashian dream, I'm sorry but all that glitz and glam ain't for me, we are called to live out a purposeful life that help us earn heavenly treasures instead of earthly ones. Whatever your process is, stay faithful to it because measuring up to a person who has been doing this for years will only discouraged you from achieving your goal. Be honest with yourself and direct your true feelings. Being honest with God he will always bring relationships that are blessed and productive. All of this to say is that my life may not be happy all the time or perfect, but I do have a trustworthy savior and purposeful relationships that keep me going. Just breath and live life knowing that God will always be there.